celia loves is the blog and recipe page born from my journey of re-discovery with food. Being always told that I love food, the past few months I have had the chance to really redefine what that means! I have been busy breaking down all those boundaries of what we have been conditioned to eat with what, placing priority on mindfully nourishing not only our bodies but our whole selves with what we chose to create and feed ourselves. Taking the time, energy and mental space to actively look after yourself with nutrient dense and delicious food for me was a path to great fulfilment and happiness.
So take that time for yourself, create, make those taste buds tingle, those nostrils flare, your eyes bulge and enjoy that feeling of feeling energetic and healthy and GLOW. Enjoy! x
The past few months have been a wonderful and exciting journey for me; with some very dark lows and almost crazy highs. I left the insane world of super yachting earlier this year and being left burnout, numb and feeling well and truly lost in life I retuned home in the desperate attempt to find an anchor and some kind of grounding.
I was almost in what felt like an automated trance, a fog, not really knowing where to start rebuilding my life but at times like these I have always had a happy place and that is the kitchen. It's where I have always done my version of meditation, where I am able to visualise a positive future, try something new and be pleased with the end result.
But this time was different...... this actually all started a few months back when I was living and working in Auckland and met this incredible ray of light called Sacha. We hit it off immediately and we literally went on little food safaris around the city. The last few weeks at the job were unsettling and scary but amidst that unpleasantness I was being truly inspired although I'm not sure I realised it then. She would show me these incredible businesses that had been born from strong, ethical, passionate women that promoted the type of life I had envisioned for myself. I would take myself for breakfast at my favourite spot called The Store and dream about a cafe I would own; creating a farm to plate oasis in the middle of the city, where children would come and learn where beef and pork came from and where I would have a pick your own section for their berries, tomatoes and carrots. I knew even then that I should have food as a part of my life I just didn't know how to start; I was in quick sand and I couldn't find a stick to grab onto.
So I came back home to the beautiful English country side. There was man drama, acclimatising to being back in the UK after many many years, living with my parents for the first time in nearly 13 years, and the gripping fear of having to find a job and really not knowing what I should do....it was all taking its toll and I have never felt so low or truly unhealthy. My sparkle had well and truly dissipated!
I needed to get my sparkle back and I needed to get Celia back. I've interviewed enough people in my time to know I wouldn't have hired me. I just felt empty, no inspiration, no drive and no energy. Having been living on yachts for a while I had forgotten how incredible it is to be in control of your own diet and therefore health. This was my building block - this is what I could control! So all those bits of information I was soaking in, in New Zealand all started to come into play. I desperately needed a way to truly nourish myself, mind body and soul.
So out came the gluten, the dairy, sugar and alcohol. This was not in any attempt to lose weight at this point I just wanted to know that everything that I was putting in my body was GOOD and nutritious, I knew I needed healing and this was the best way to start. Above anything else the psychological benefits of looking after yourself and nurturing yourself in this way for me were dramatic.
Then the changes began to happen, I had more energy, I started running, getting back into my yoga, and the unhappy days were becoming less and less. Then one day I decided to post something I had cooked and the responses were overwhelming, so positive and genuine, it inspired me to keep going.
The next few months were spent still looking for jobs that deep down I knew I didn't want to do. My CV has always and hopefully always will be eclectic - I have travelled the world and hopefully always tried to challenge myself, so when I constantly had recruitment agents in London looking at me like I was an alien, I just wanted to bang my head against a wall, it would have been less painful. None if it felt right, jobs I was being put forward for were really well paid and I had the skills but I would be lying if a little piece of my soul died thinking I had to pile all my energy into a less than amazing job. I was determined to do something more meaningful and creative with my life. This is my story book I am writing and I am determined to make it a good read. I didn't want to give up on the dream of making my life extraordinary. So I told my parents I was taking a week off looking for work - I needed a week just to brainstorm, revel in the feeling of being creative, let those neurones spark and see what I could come up with. It took all of about 10 seconds to come up with celia loves. I knew I wanted to write about food that I loved and that helped me fall in love with food again.
So here we are celia loves has been born and I hope you will enjoy recreating my recipes as much as I love putting them together. For those of you that know me you'll know that since celia loves was created I have been offered a job (more details later!) working with food. This incredible journey has brought me to the place where I felt I always should have been. Oh and in this process 18kg has dropped off me. It's official ...... Celia has her sparkle back!! x